Don't just make resolutions for the year, make them for life.

RESOLUTION:

1. process of resolving: the process of resolving something such as a problem or dispute
2. decision: a firm decision to do something
3. determination: firmness of mind or purpose

BY DEFINITION....THIS IS WHAT I INTEND TO DO!

I have always thought making a New Year's Resolution was silly. In the back of my mind it never made sense to make one. Looking at the three possible definitions, its clear that maybe I should make some. 

 Sometimes to resolve a problem you can either eliminate that problem or fix it. Well, after many attempts to fix, "be the better person", tolerate and anger myself, I feel that now its best that I just completely avoid this situation all together. Sometimes avoiding things means you have to turn your back on people, don't regret or feel bad for doing this. If those people had any intentions of changing, you wouldn't have to walk away from them. Sometimes turning your back and avoiding them not only protects you but it protects the dynamics of your family. The "problem"; I am ridding myself, and immediate family from them/it. This isn't as easy as it sounds because often its people or things that you are related or close to you. I have become quite good at avoiding or ignoring people/things that I don't want in my life. I think this has come with age. I've held my tongue far more often than I should. It's not healthy to constantly deal with the monstrosities in your life. Mine have made me bitter, hateful and mean...to myself. I have projected these feelings on my kids and its not good. It has made me hate people, children included.
It's hard not to have hateful feelings toward some of these people because no matter how much you want to believe they will change, or do better, they don't. I see a horrible outcome and future for them, something I don't want to be associated with. 

With a New Year comes a chance for a New LIFE! The decision to do this was an easy one. It only takes getting knocked down, verbally and physically, to see the situation isn't good for you. I think when you allow people to hold you back you die a little. People only hold you back when they feel inadequate. I have family that does this, sad but its true. (I won't name names). What is even more hurtful is when these people can't stand to see you doing better than them, they feel like they are in competition with you. Walk away. That is what I have to do for my sanity and my children's well being. These people/things are poisonous to us. 

As a child, I was always told that I'm a very determined girl. I still am. Just older, maybe a little wiser, definitely stronger. 

I am determined to make the rest of my life better each year. The unfortunate thing, for some, is they won't be around to see it. Their fault, because I tried. 

I end with this. If you look at the definition of resolution (see above) you will see it is a process, a decision and determination to do what it takes to make YOU better. So, I resolve to not deal with what causes me problems, only what makes me happy. I resolve to make better decisions for myself and my family, even if it means walking away from people/things. I resolve to keep my determination and never again let someone be hateful  to me, my children or say things that are inappropriate to my family. EVER. With that determination, I will no longer hold my tongue, but say what I feel. 

I hope everyone has a fantastic year, but don't just make resolutions for the year, make them for life.